Recently I’ve received interests from gentlemen who have never hired a professional sex worker. Thousands of words in long emails… I’m deeply touched not only because of their words of praise and affection but also because they reached out to me with their honest and genuine concerns.
For anyone who has never met a sex worker, the very first time is always challenging. Looking at the lady’s photos, imagining her resting in your arms, her smiling eyes, her floral perfume, and the passionate night that follows… But for all of that to happen, you now need to submit your screening information and pay the deposit, which means you have to officially go through the process of “buying sex”.
The associating with sex work can easily discredit you as a functional social unit. While sex work is not slavery, people pay for erotic experiences not the ownership of another person’s body. However, the long history of the stigma attached to sex work has cast a dark shadow on both the workers and the clients. We all know how much a woman can be shamed for choosing this career. For a man, if you are feeling a need to pay for sex, the society judges you as if you’re sexually undesired, couldn’t find a girlfriend (or ‘sex for free’), or you simply get labelled as a man who ‘lost his way’ in dirty thrills.
The key word here is “dirty”:
“Sex you have to pay for isn’t real/genuine!”
“Sex workers are dirty/corrupted!”
“Clients of sex workers are dirty, scruffy men who can get sex any other way!”
When you don’t fit all the stereotypes above, and you’re a well-heeled gentleman, you’re automatically “the corrupted rich playboy/playfox who just don’t want to settle down.”
All these horrible labels that contribute to one’s anxiety have been slapped on people in this community since the beginning of time. They stopped many men and women from seeing what sex work is actually about: it’s about compassion, intimacy, honesty and exploring your sexual body free of guilt and judgement.
What you need to walk into your first booking are an open mind and a compassionate heart. For me as a professional companion, I’d humbly advise that if there is even one shred of you that thinks hiring me is dirty, literally or figuratively, think twice and try to process why you feel this way. Is it because of general social stigma? A previous bad experience? Somebody you know has a bad experience?… Because if the first time you hire a sex worker is you walking into a date with negative biases hoping the worker to change your mind, it’s like going to a first date with somebody you already hate and telling her “prove me wrong”. Even if she’s your ‘one true love’ and she DID change your mind, your biases will creep in sometime afterwards whispering to you about the one million reasons why this doesn’t feel ‘right’.
General anxiety is another kind of concern I’ve been hearing about. Gentlemen who said they have never hired a sex worker before; they are interested in meeting me, but meanwhile, are not sure if the sex will go well… It is perfectly normal to feel uncertain about something you’ve never done, in this case, is to have sex with a sex worker. This is the time I bring up open-mindedness and compassion again, they will help you open up and be honest, not just to me, but be honest to yourself – allow yourself to listen, and *hear* your deepest thoughts in this crazy chaotic world…
To end this blog, I’d like to mention that what a provide is a safe space to enjoy sex and feel sexual. If you are a gentleman who is certain that prescription medications like Viagra work on you in reducing anxieties or improving performances, I want you to feel comfortable and confident using it in front of me. I’m your lover, never your judge♡
Until we meet…